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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25001020">Gallifrey Group Chat</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyZoZo/pseuds/LadyZoZo'>LadyZoZo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who, Doctor Who &amp; Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005), Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Banter, Best Friends, F/F, F/M, Gallifrey, Humour, M/M, Swearing, doesn't align with canon but who gives a fuck amirite, mild sex reference</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:22:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,863</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25001020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyZoZo/pseuds/LadyZoZo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Ace puts the whole Gallifrey Gang into a group chat</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Leela/Narvin, Romana/Leela, Romana/Narvin, brax/narvin, brax/romana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Ace added President Romanadvoratrelunder</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Ace added Coordinator Narvinectralonum</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Ace added Cardinal Braxiatel</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Ace added Leela of the Sevateem</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>Coordinator Narvinectralonum:</strong> Ace I thought you were joking about the chat room.</p><p><strong>President Romanadvoratrelundar:</strong> And why have I been added to this?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Ace changed President Romanadvoratrelundar’s nickname to Fred</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Ace changed Cardinal Braxiatel’s nickname to Uncle Brax</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Ace changed Coordinator Narvinectralonum’s nickname to Penguin</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Ace changed Leela of the Sevateem’s nickname to Stab</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>Penguin:</strong> PENGUIN?!</p><p><strong>Ace:</strong> your normal names are too long</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> i liek my new name</p><p><strong>Fred:</strong> Finally, someone uses the name I chose.</p><p><strong>Penguin:</strong> But why Penguin?!?!?</p><p><strong>Ace:</strong> you look like a penguin. thats why i dont wear your silly cia robes, i dont want to look like a flightless bird</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> wat is a penguin</p><p><strong>Fred:</strong> A black and white bird. Ace is right, Narvin does resemble a penguin. He’s just missing the beak.</p><p><strong>Penguin:</strong> I am not a penguin!</p><p><strong>Ace:</strong> Alright, I’ll change it</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Ace changed Penguin’s nickname to Pingu</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>Ace:</strong> better?</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> And what is a Pingu?</p><p><strong>Ace:</strong> its, uh, its an earth title. it means “wise leader”</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> Oh. Well, I am happy with this title then.</p><p><strong>Fred:</strong> I can’t believe you sometimes Ace...</p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> What on Gallifrey have I just walked in on?</p><p><strong>Fred:</strong> No idea. Ace seems to have set up a chat group for us.</p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> That is a dreadful idea.</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> That’s what I tried to tell her.</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> i fink it is a grate idea. now we can talk to one anofer all the time</p><p><strong>Ace:</strong> exactly! see, leela gets it!</p><p><strong>Fred:</strong> I’m not sure I have the mental energy to be talking to you all in a chat room all the time. In person is taxing enough, let alone all day on my communicator as well.</p><p><strong>Ace:</strong> wow thanks mate</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> Oh charming.</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> u love us reely romana</p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> Leela remind me to give you some literacy lessons sometime.</p><p><strong>Ace:</strong> dont fall for it leela! literacy is one of the most boring subjects out there!</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> do not worry ace. i will not let brax teach me anything</p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> And why not!? I am an excellent teacher, tell them Romana.</p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> Romana?</p><p><strong>Ace:</strong> haha! she’s ghosting you!</p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> Romana I thought I could trust you.</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> Then you clearly know nothing about Romana.</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> i fink romana is very trust worthy</p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> Well you would</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> and wat dose that mean</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Fred changed Ace’s nickname to Dorothy</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>Fred:</strong> AHA! I figured out how to use the system!</p><p><strong>Dorothy:</strong> NO</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Dorothy changed their nickname to President Ace</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fred changed President Ace’s nickname to Sugar Rush</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sugar Rush changed their nickname to Ace, Goddess of Wisdom and Blowing Shit Up</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fred changed Ace, Goddess of Wisdom and Blowing Shit Up’s nickname to Penguin Junior</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Penguin Junior changed their nickname to STOP BULLYING ME ROMANA</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fred changed STOP BULLYING ME ROMANA’s nickname to No</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>No changed Fred’s nickname to Bottoms 4 Leela</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> …</p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> Too far Ace</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> wat dose ace mean</p><p><strong>Bottoms 4 Leela:</strong> I’ll tell you later.</p><p><strong>No:</strong> i bet you will ;)</p><p><strong>Bottoms 4 Leela:</strong> ACE!</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> i still dont under stand</p><p><strong>Bottoms 4 Leela:</strong> Don’t worry about it Leela.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Bottoms 4 Leela changed their nickname to Fred</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fred changed No’s nickname to Teenage Dirtbag</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> A bit extreme, don’t you think Romana?</p><p><strong>Fred:</strong> No I don’t think that at all.</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> BECAUSE I’M JUST A TEENAGE DIRTBAG BABY</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> LISTEN TO IRON MAIDEN BABY WITH ME</p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> Oh, you meant the song...</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> how do you listen to an iron maiden</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> Skill</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> i have <em>got</em> to introduce you lot to some more of my music</p><p><strong>Fred:</strong> Don’t you dare. Last time you did that Leela was humming Bowie for weeks afterwards.</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> i still do not under stand how a girl with a mouse for hare can live on mars</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> …</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> It’s at times like this where I’m glad I know nothing about Earth culture.</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> you dont know what your missing</p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> *you’re</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> who made you the grammar police</p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> Borusa, in my fifth year at the academy. It’s a role I took very seriously.</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> why doesnt that surprise me</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> Well, this has been an enlightening experience but I think I’m done with this nonsense now. Goodbye.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Pingu has left the chat</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Teenage Dirtbag added Coordinator Narvinectralonum</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Teenage Dirtbag changed Coordinator Narvinectralonum’s nickname to Pingu</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> you ain’t getting out of this that easily narv</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> Do not call me Narv.</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> you like it really</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> I do Not. Narvin is already a shortened version of my name, what’s wrong with it?</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> too many syllables</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> Coming from ‘Teenage Dirtbag’.</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> hey romana called me that, not me</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> You still don’t shorten anybody else’s name. Romana has more syllables than Narvin.</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> yeah but romana is a pretty name, i could never shorten it</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> do not lie ace. you once called her roro</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> yes but she threatened me with exile if i ever did it again</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> And how do you know I won’t exile you if you don’t stop calling me ‘Narv’?</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> i know you could never exile me narv, you love me too much xx</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Fred added K9 MK II</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> k9!!!!</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT K9</p><p><strong>Fred:</strong> I was wondering the same thing, how dare you forget him.</p><p><strong>K9 MK II:</strong> 01001101 01101001 01110011 01110100 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01010010 01101111 01101101 01100001 01101110 01100001 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110010 01100101 01110001 01110101 01101001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101100 01101011</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> …</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> is he broken</p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> Oh dear.</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> why is he speaking in binary code?</p><p><strong>K9 MK II:</strong> 01001101 01101001 01110011 01110100 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01010010 01101111 01101101 01100001 01101110 01100001 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110010 01100101 01110001 01110101 01101001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101100 01101011</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> Did you seriously think adding a computer to a chat room was a good idea?</p><p><strong>Fred:</strong> I think it was an excellent idea.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Pingu removed K9 from the chat</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> you monster</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> how dare you</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> It had to be done.</p><p><strong>Fred:</strong> It didn’t have to be done. You just hate my dog.</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> I do not hate K9!! I just do not want to put up with endless streams of binary code!</p><p><strong>Stab:</strong> i do not have to put up wif this treatment of k9. i am going to go and make sure he is ok</p><p><strong>Teenage Dirtbag:</strong> yeah i gtg too. cya later guys</p><p><strong>Pingu:</strong> What is ‘gtg’?</p><p><strong>Uncle Brax:</strong> Not a clue.</p><p><strong>Fred:</strong> I haven’t the foggiest.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Teenage Dirtbag: </b>hey guys whatcha up to?</p><p><b>Teenage Dirtbag:</b> so anyone want to go to the library with me today?</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Teenage Dirtbag changed their nickname to Ace</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><b>Ace: </b>leela, you up for some lite arson later?</p><p><b>Ace: </b>did you guys turn off the notifications for this chat…</p><p><b>Ace: </b>i walk down a lonely road, the only one i have ever known. dont know where it goes but its home to me and i walk alone</p><p><b>Ace: </b>remember when my mates paid attention to me? yeah me neither</p><p><b>Fred: </b>Don’t be so melodramatic Ace, I was just busy sorting something out.</p><p><b>Fred: </b>But absolutely no arson allowed.</p><p><b>Ace:</b> killjoy</p><p><b>Ace: </b>so where are the others?</p><p><b>Stab: </b>i am here. i just could not find my communicator</p><p><b>Stab: </b>i was sitting on it</p><p><b>Fred: </b>Leela I’ve told you to stop sitting on communicators.</p><p><b>Stab: </b>i am sorry, i did not see it. it is not broken this time thow</p><p><b>Fred:</b> Well thank Rassilon for that. I think the technical department would commit treason if they had to give you another one.</p><p><b>Stab:</b> may bee i shood brake this one then. treason wood be fun</p><p><b>Ace: </b>do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it</p><p><b>Fred:</b> You realise it would be your job to defend me against treason?</p><p><b>Fred:</b> You’d only be making work for yourself?</p><p><b>Stab:</b> good. i have not been in a proper fight for too long</p><p><b>Ace:</b> that’s the spirit leela!</p><p><b>Fred:</b> Can you two maybe not advocate treason? Especially when <em> I’m </em> the one who would be the victim of it?</p><p><b>Ace:</b> sorry romana, wont happen again</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Inquisitor Darkel has joined the chat</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ace removed Inquisitor Darkel from the chat</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><b>Ace: </b>how did she-</p><p><b>Fred: </b>Block her</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Inquisitor Darkel has joined the chat</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ace removed Inquisitor Darkel from the chat</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Inquisitor Darkel has joined the chat</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><b>Ace: </b>PISS OFF</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ace removed Inquisitor Darkel from the chat</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Inquisitor Darkel has joined the chat</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><b>Inquisitor Darkel:</b> Ace stop removing me I need to tell you all something.</p><p><b>Ace:</b> NO</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Ace removed Inquisitor Darkel from the chat</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Inquisitor Darkel has joined the chat</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><b>Ace:</b> HOW ARE YOU EVEN JOINING THIS IS A PRIVATE CHAT</p><p><b>Inquisitor Darkel: </b>I have my ways.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><b>Fred c</b> <b>hanged Inquisitor Darkel’s nickname to White Trash</b></p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><b>White Trash:</b> I don’t know who ‘Fred’ is but that is incredibly immature of you.</p><p><b>White Trash: </b>I will be reporting this to the President.</p><p><b>White Trash: </b>You’ll be in for it then.</p><p><b>Fred: </b>Piss off.</p><p><b>White Trash: </b>I will not stand for this abuse!</p><p><b>White Trash: </b>I only came here to inform Coordinator Narvin about a disruption in the timelines, but if this is how you treat your guests then I’ll just tell him in person.</p><p><b>Fred: </b>Darkel, with all due respect, which granted is very little, I don’t care.</p><p><b>White Trash:</b> Never have I been so insulted to my face!</p><p><b>White Trash: </b>Romana will be hearing about this!</p><p><b>Ace:</b> ok boomer</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>White Trash left the chat</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><b>Fred: </b>Well thank goodness for that.</p><p><b>Fred:</b> How did she even get here?</p><p><b>Ace:</b> no idea. i’ll update the privacy settings though</p><p><b>Fred: </b>Good idea.</p><p><b>Fred: </b>Ha. She just sent me a message telling me to arrest “Fred”.</p><p><b>Fred:</b> She thinks I was another trainee CIA agent.</p><p><b>Ace:</b> what a dunce</p><p><b>Stab: </b>i am bak</p><p><b>Fred:</b> Where did you even go?</p><p><b>Stab: </b>to the toylet</p><p><b>Stab:</b> i dropped my communicator down it</p><p><b>Fred: </b>Why did you bring your communicator with you to the toilet?</p><p><b>Stab:</b> i wanted to find out if it could flowt</p><p><b>Fred: </b>You dropped it in the toilet on purpose…</p><p><b>Ace: </b>leela i love you</p><p><b>Ace: </b>but that’s an incredibly ridiculous thing to do</p><p><b>Fred: </b>Leela did you do this just so I would have to go get you a new one?</p><p><b>Stab:</b> may bee…</p><p><b>Fred:</b> I gather you didn’t realise they’re waterproof then?</p><p><b>Stab: </b>no :(</p><p><b>Fred:</b> That’s not something to be sad about Leela.</p><p><b>Ace:</b> are they nitro 9 proof?</p><p><b>Fred:</b> Take a guess Ace.</p><p><b>Ace:</b> leela meet me in the library</p><p><b>Stab:</b> i am on my way</p><p><b>Fred:</b> NO DON’T YOU DARE</p><p><b>Fred: </b>ACE I BANNED NITRO 9 FOR A REASON</p><p><b>Fred: </b>Ace?</p><p><b>Uncle Brax:</b> Romana I just heard a very loud bang come from the library, should I investigate?</p><p><b>Fred:</b> …I think I want to resign</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>there will definitely be more chapters of this i have so many ideas for this format</p></blockquote></div></div>
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